As we worked to pack down our awning, clear out and repack our garage and generally get organised to leave our Costa Del Sol campsite that had been our haven during the State of National Emergency because of the Covid-19 pandemic, I found myself processing some very mixed emotions.
When we left the UK back in November 2019, travelling through Holland, Belgium, and France to reach Spain for Christmas before travelling onwards, we had no idea that our adventure would be paused in such a dramatic way as this. Indeed, we were about a week from crossing the border into Portugal to explore the west coast. We had become used to ‘being on the road’ where our viewpoint regularly changed, we didn’t settle anywhere, our home was on wheels and we were enjoying the journey of discovery we were on.
The last three and a half months spent as ‘residents’ at Camping Cabopino, have been very different. The moving around was halted, and we laid down temporary roots. We set up a larger camp and have appreciated the extra indoor space our awning tent gives us, we’ve been so grateful for the Amazon deliveries, we developed some good friendships with our ‘neighbours’ and we even memorised the layouts of the local supermarket. In short, this campsite and this way of life became familiar. We developed patterns and routines, which I have come to recognise brought a certain security, especially when the world has now become an unknown place.
Leaving this ‘safe place’ is creating a maelstrom within me of daunted excitement, uncertain trepidation, confusion and conviction that we are getting back on track.
However, as I work through these feelings, while we look at maps, research campsites, and discern our path ahead I have come to comprehend that although our motorhome hasn’t driven anywhere since mid-March we have in fact been on an amazing adventure.
During the first stage of the hard lockdown Spain went into, we spent two months only venturing out to go to the supermarket once a week. The remainder of the time we were largely confined to our pitch. However, during this intense period where we found ourselves in each other’s company 24/7, we have developed new ways of being together, of sharing a small space, of finding our own individual quiet bubbles.
We, in part, embarked on this pan-European adventure to proactively be more present parents, to put down some of our life’s distractions and to be with our children more. I had thought we were doing quite well at this as we explored historical monuments and striking landscapes together, as we led them in their education, as we got to know them better. These last few months have enabled us to go even deeper with our girls, to get to know them at a whole new level.
I never imagined I’d find myself playing fairy make-believe worlds on an old tree stump with my four year old daughter, or that our evenings would be spent playing a morphed version of stick-in-the-mud and tag with a PJ Masks theme, invented by our girls! There have been new skills that our children have each discovered, and new board games we have learnt together (we’d recommend Quirkle!). We have spent time reading CS Lewis books and enjoyed Saturday evenings watching the entire collection of nine Star Wars films (starting with Episode One for those curious! – Rightly or wrongly...!). We even went on a ‘trip’ to Longleat Safari Park – complete with homemade tickets and a picnic!
I’d be wrong however to imply that lockdown life was always so idyllic! There have definitely been some very challenging moments too! More than once I’ve stomped off to find space at the corner of our pitch to calm down! We’ve ridden out the storms of children’s growth spurts, marital disagreements and my own hormonal PMS moments! I’ve also at points struggled to deal with the enormity of how COVID-19 has impacted our lives which has more than once led to a good snotty cry!
However, despite these ups and downs I recognise a new level of patience within myself (although in all honestly this was definitely in need of a top up towards the lockdown period!). One of the hardest things for me has been working out how to ensure I could find a moment to myself where I could just take some deep breaths – privacy was in short supply on our 10m2 pitch! Sometimes this has been sitting alone with a cup of tea in a corner or the passenger seat of our motorhome, or phoning a friend often whilst walking to LIDL or doing the washing up, or doodling in my Bible amidst whatever noisy family activity was taking place around me! I’ve learnt I’ve needed quiet time in a new way, a time to process my thoughts and pray about the storm raging around us.
As we emerged from the first stage of lockdown, with changes happening fortnightly, and then weekly, it has been a struggle at points to come out of such a quiet and intimate life. The first weekend the campsite reopened I found myself anxious about the changes, and stifled by the noise and number of people around. Again, I had to seek time alone – walking on the beach at dusk listening to worship music – to reflect that people were made to be in community together, to live alongside each other, and that this is a good thing. In the end I found myself looking forward to the busier weekends on the campsite where life felt quite ‘normal’ and there were new people to chat with and befriend.
Whilst our exterior scenery didn’t change much between March and July, we have definitely spent these last few months still moving forward in this journey together, still learning about this path we tread. Now we get to pack up these memories, lessons and new ways of living and take to the road with them. It’s time to travel again, to see how our journey can continue against the backdrop of the coronavirus. And I definitely want to ensure we don’t lose what the last three months of lockdown life has taught us.
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